I AM

Exodus 3:14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”  15 God also said to Moses, … “This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.

My confession is that I haven’t truly understood the implications of your name, “I Am.” My comprehension only scratches on your surface. Thinking through the implications of simple decisions is complicated enough. What must it be like to have Creator come up to you and say, "Hi, my name is I Am."

"So what are you really asking me, David?"

I would like to know the real I Am. The I Am that observes the coming and going of humanity. The I Am who looks upon injustice and cruelty. The I Am, who by your very name implies complete control while withholding your judgement and involvement, allowing unthinkable things to transpire.

"Close your eyes. What do you see?"

It's just me and you in a lightly treed meadow; a pond with a rowboat on the bank. You're sitting beside me with your arm around my shoulder. I'm probably around 12 years old.

"What are you sensing?"

That it's one of those Father/son talks and you're saying, "It's going to be okay."

"Alright then. Let's start with that assumption; that it's going to be okay."

Ya, but in the meantime, so many ~ so many people are experiencing such horrible things. I'm not talking about the occasional car accident or over-billing from a utility company. Those don't imply an evil intent. But Saviour, the violation of innocence combined with unspeakable suffering stops me. I can't move past it. It doesn't fit in the plan I sensed was your intent. As a result 'I Am' seems more insulting than comforting. It implies you can, but you haven't.

“And there you have it; the border between darkness and light. You're surprised to realize there is no grey area. I do not mingle with evil. I do not rationalize my responses. I Am.” 

My 'I am,' bumps up against you quite often. It comes out as 'I want;' 'I will;' 'I don't care;' 'You can't make me.' 'I am' is a pretty definitive statement. 

"And David, that's where these two worlds collide; the 'I am's' of every individual, government, and entity versus me; the true 'I AM.’ Every violation you mentioned comes down to this: Who will be I Am?"

I know I'm not qualified for that task. It has to be you. And my 'I am' needs to be willing to respond with 'I trust;' 'I submit;' 'I believe.' I can only say those things with conviction when I recognize that you give me independence. My need to be in control can only be satisfied when I choose to submit to you. It is only then that 'I am' is at peace with the implications of you being 'I AM.' 

"You are allowed to choose me. When you do, your presence in society inserts sustainability and justice. You have a role to play in stopping the collapse of culture."